Rachel writes: My fiancé, Steve, wants me to go to a Phish show – he’s been to over 60 – but every time he turns on Phish, I fall asleep. I don’t want to pay for an expensive nap. Please order that he stop asking me to go to his hippie festivals.
This isn’t the first time I’ve heard this dispute, so before you get married, you should know the law: In heterosexual marriages, each woman owes her husband one Phish show. Now, some spouses may never cash in on this deal. But you’re – and I’m sorry to write this for many reasons – on the hook. Phish is a whole world to his fans, and Steve deserves the chance to show what makes it special to him. If you decide after this that Phish is not for you, the case is closed. (Unless Steve buys an unused Mandatory Phish Show Another Husband. I’m fine with Phish, but you can have mine, Steve. Find me on Venmo. $5,000.)
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