After Tommi Vincent and Troy Vincent Sr., who had met a few years earlier in Trenton, NJ, reconnected through long distance phone calls in the early 1990s, they decided it was time to exchange photos of each other through the mail.
At the time, Mr. Vincent was a 22-year-old cornerback for the Miami Dolphins.
“I sent her a football card because that’s the only picture I had of myself,” said Vincent, 52, now the NFL’s executive vice president of football operations. “Back then you couldn’t FaceTime.”
Ms. Vincent, a life coach and chef who was then an 18-year-old student at Temple University, was not immediately impressed by the gesture.
“That wasn’t personal enough for me,” she said.
However, the pair continued their daily phone calls for months. And after a few visits, a promise ring and an engagement, they were married in 1994. Five children and six grandchildren later, they remembered the moment they knew.
This interview has been slightly edited and shortened.
How did you meet?
Troy Vincent Sr.: I was in high school, Tommi was in high school. Tommi’s older sister was dating my best friend and that’s how I got to know the family.
Tommy Vincent: We weren’t dating at the time, to be clear. There’s a four year age difference, so during that time I met Troy hanging out with my sister and her friends, and I didn’t think they were cool at all. And then, fast forward, my sister finally married the lord, and they were visiting Troy, and he inquired about me.
Troy: They were on a Disney cruise through the state of Florida where I lived. I said, “Show me a picture.”
Did you call her first after that?
Troy: Talk about shooting someone. It was like she didn’t even want to talk to me. So I not only called her first, I kept calling.
Tommy: Troy is an old soul, God bless him, and his first call to me was at 6am. I was partying until 4:30 in the morning. So when he first called, I was like, “What?”
Troy: She finally answered anyway.
Tommy: I did have a perception of him because he was a professional athlete. In my mind I thought, he’s probably a dog. So I had my roommate screen the calls at the time. The one time I picked up it was raining and my girlfriend wasn’t there. And on that call, we stayed on the phone from 3 in the afternoon until the next morning.
So you exchanged pictures of yourself after a few phone calls. How did she get the football card?
Troy: I emailed it, right?
Tommy: You had Linda send it – his godmother. Like she was his assistant.
Troy: It was literally a football card in an envelope with a 25 cent stamp.
For 2023 standards, that feels like a lot of effort.
Tommy: At that point I had already caught feelings for him, so when I got the card I was extremely annoyed, because I didn’t feel what you call ‘effort’. I was like, you’re going to send me a football card and I’ll send you a picture?
Troy: I didn’t know if she still looked like the photo I saw because it was an old photo. But it didn’t matter because at that time I fell in love with the person I was on the phone with every day.
When did you meet in person?
Troy: Maybe five or six months later. I was in Jersey and I said, “Let’s go out to dinner.”
Tommy: Troy was playing the Jets and he said, “Hey, why don’t you come to the game?” I only had the soccer card, so in my mind I thought, I don’t even think I’ll know who this is when I see him. He walked into the hotel and we saw each other and smiled. And then a few days later, he bought me a plane ticket to fly to Florida to spend a few days with him.
Was there a moment during your phone calls when you knew this was the person for you?
Troy: None in particular. I think just over time. Outside of work, I didn’t spend much time with anyone else. I get up on the phone, we talk. During my breaks we talk. We go to sleep, we talk. It was like she liked my homie. I now share everything about my life with her, and it was just what the doctor ordered.
Tommy: I’d say about three months into our relationship – and I hadn’t shared it with anyone – but I had a feeling inside me that was indescribable. I just knew I wanted him to be my husband, but I felt like I’d sound crazy if I said that three months into our relationship. We continued to build the relationship and experience intimacy over the phone, really getting to know each other in different ways.
send your thoughts, stories and tips to thirdwheel..
