What lingerie options are there for a mature woman who wants to undress or appear in the bedroom already turned into lingerie? When I think back to my childhood, the garter belts, see-through babydolls, thongs, or even bikini underwear seem ridiculous or no longer flattering on my body. But I enjoy nice underwear and don’t want to give up that pleasure. Thoughts? — Barbara, New York
Lingerie has been a particularly fraught topic since the #MeToo movement, a lightning rod in the debate about female objectification and empowerment – exactly how that is expressed and who gets to decide what it looks like. See, for example, the trials and tribulations of Victoria’s Secret, the one-time embodiment of lingerie dreams. At least old stereotypes of male lingerie dreams.
But if real empowerment, as I believe, is in the emotions of the individual – in wearing what makes you feel good – then it starts with the first and last things you wear: lingerie. As Christian Dior once said, “True elegance is everywhere. Especially in the things that cannot be seen.”
How you define elegance in that context is up to you and should have nothing to do with birthdays, size or shape. “If you like wearing suspender belts, sheer babydolls, thongs and bikini underwear, you should keep wearing those things!” Cora Harrington, the author of “In Intimate Detail: How to Choose, Wear, and Love Lingerie,” said when I asked. “There’s no age limit, and it’s not ridiculous at all to still enjoy those items.”
When it comes to lingerie, though, there’s a universe of other options to choose from, she noted. Just consider the concept of the ‘skirt’, which is experiencing a renaissance all over the designer catwalks. It’s a piece of clothing that essentially comes straight from the glamor of the bedroom – where it really never goes out of style.
Think Elizabeth Taylor in ‘Cat on a Hot Tin Roof’ and ‘BUtterfield 8’. Those white silk camisoles look just as attractive today as they did when the movies came out.
Mrs. Harrington did say, “I love a long silk nightgown with a deep V-neck and luscious lace details.” She suggests you check out Christine Lingerie, “a Canadian brand famous for their silk nightgowns,” and Julianna Rae. On the more affordable level, there’s this midi dress from SilkSilky and this shirt from Dita Von Teese.
Josie Natori, a lingerie guru and the founder of Natori, recommends a bralette and pajama bottoms, like Gwyneth Paltrow recently wore at an event for her Goop beauty line. Look for non-wired bras (Intimissimi has some good options, as does Cosabella) and pair them with comfy but still slinky bottoms.
Finally, it’s impossible not to feel chic in (or out of) a silk robe. These steamy days, they offer an alternative meaning to the whole concept of “hot.”
Your style questions, answered
Every week on Open Thread, Vanessa answers a reader’s fashion-related question, which you can send her anytime via e-mail or Twitter. Questions are edited and shortened.
