A people pleaser is someone who constantly tries to keep others happy in all situations. Such individuals always intervene to help others and sometimes at the expense of their own comfort or needs. They often try to stay in the good books of others.
The urge to please others stems from a feeling of insecurity, rejection, and low self-esteem. The urge to make everyone happy can also sometimes stem from a lack of inner satisfaction.
People who please people can be perfectionists who want everything to be flawless, including how they are perceived by others. Pleasing people can stem from fundamental childhood ideas that you have to make others happy to be worthy of their affection or that if you stop pleasing people you would be abandoned or unkempt. People who please people don’t always have to require others to do things for them or expect something in return for their help.
However, behavior that is pleasant for people carries many risks and can affect a person’s personality in a negative way. Here are a few risks people face.
TensionStress: Stress occurs when a person fails to find a solution to a problem. People who please people probably have a long to-do list or many tasks in the pipeline because of their efforts to help others. This can lead to stress in the long run as they may not be able to finish all the tasks.
Passive Aggressiveness: People who feel they have no choice but to please others may develop resentment for their role, which can sometimes lead to frustration. This can present as passive-aggressiveness, which occurs when someone indirectly shows anger. When someone is dissatisfied, it can also have an impact on their relationships.
Negative self image: People who spend a lot of time pleasing others may lose track of what they want or how they feel. This may mean that they are less aware of their own needs. Evaluating yourself from the point of view of others can often put people who please people under emotional pressure. The fear of not pleasing others and of being rejected by them can lead to low self-esteem and personality disorders.
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