“After White House press secretary Jen Psaki said yesterday that President Biden will honor his commitment to nominate a black woman to the Supreme Court, a Fox News panel criticized the administration’s selection process. I’ll take a guess and say they have exactly two problems with a black woman.” —SETH MEYERS
“Joe Biden is going to pick a black woman who is also qualified. These people act like Biden just come to the mall and say, ‘Yo, Shaniqua, come with me.’ “Uh, my name is Regina.” ‘It doesn’t matter – just put on these robes, I need help with abortion.’” — TREVOR NOAH
“No, she’ll be qualified – and why is that a bad thing? Why not make the Supreme Court a little more representative of the country it represents? I mean, their rulings affect everyone’s lives in the country, so it would be nice to have at least one judge there who had to ask the Walgreens guy to unlock the shampoo shelf.” — TREVOR NOAH
“At the same time, I also hear what the Fox people are saying, you know? It shouldn’t matter if you’re black or white, this position should only go to the most qualified judge who also thinks guns are people.” — TREVOR NOAH
“In honor of the park’s 30th anniversary and Women’s History Month in March, Disneyland Paris announced yesterday that Minnie Mouse will be wearing a dark blue and black polka dot trouser suit designed by Stella McCartney. Unfortunately, that still doesn’t make up for the fact that you took your wife to Paris and then took her to Disneyland.” —SETH MEYERS