“Saturday Night Live” dug deep this weekend for its opening sketch, well into the text of a leaked draft opinion showing that the Supreme Court voted to overturn the Roe v. Wade decision, in the part where the author of the draft opinion , Justice Samuel A. Alito Jr. cites legal theory from 13th-century England.
As an introductory voiceover described the scene, “We are now moving into that deep moment of moral clarity nearly a thousand years ago that laid such a clear foundation for what our laws should be in 2022.”
Within the stone walls of a medieval castle, dressed in period costumes and wigs, cast members James Austin Johnson and Andrew Dismukes brainstormed with a third character, played by the show’s guest host, Benedict Cumberbatch.
“While I was cleaning the hole on the side of the castle where we defecate and then fall through the air into a moat of human feces, I started thinking about abortion,” Cumberbatch said, adding, “Don’t you think that we should have a law made against it?”
“Exactly. Something fair and reasonable like those laws. We should make a law that will stand the test of time, so that they look back hundreds and hundreds of years from now and say, this one doesn’t need updating at all – they laid it down in 1235 .
Dressed as a medieval woman, Cecily Strong interrupted the conversation between the men. “I was standing outside watching the sheriff throw left-handed children into the river and I heard you talking about a new law,” she said.
Strong asked them, “I was wondering, since I’m almost at the childbearing age of 12, shouldn’t women have the right to choose, since having a baby means a 50 percent chance of death?”
Cumberbatch replied, “Yes, but that’s why we offer maternity leave. When you’re done with 20 consecutive years of motherhood, you can leave.”
When the three men all voted in favor of their new law, a fourth man, played by Chris Redd, tried to vote against it.
“I’m just playing,” Redd said. “I know I can’t vote. But you know, Moors become Moors.’
Kate McKinnon entered the room with long gray hair and a pointy hat, and Cumberbatch recoiled, “A ogre!” he exclaimed.
“No, no, just a woman in her thirties,” McKinnon replied. She explained that eating a weird mushroom had given her the power to see far into the future, when this oppressive law was overturned and that outcome itself would be undone.
McKinnon tried to give some encouraging words. “No matter how many choices they take from women, we always have the choice to keep fighting,” she said.
“That’s really inspiring,” Cumberbatch said. “And after hearing your perspective, I suddenly realize – you’re a witch and we’re going to set you on fire.”
Hidden talent of the week
One potential benefit of hosting “SNL” is that you could show off a skill or talent that the public doesn’t know you have. In the case of Cumberbatch, the Oscar-nominated star of “The Power of the Dog” and the “Doctor Strange” movies, he showed himself to be a pretty decent singer when he pretended to be a prisoner of a chain gang in fifties Georgia.
While fellow inmates played by Johnson, Redd and Kenan Thompson smash rocks and complain about their long internment, Cumberbatch is the one enjoying cherry pie and bragging about being the prison snitch. (He also used his pipes in a later skit in which he played half of an ’80s New Wave rock duo playing a gig in Chuck E. Cheese.)
Weekend update jokes of the week
At the Weekend Update desk, anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che continued to riff on the Supreme Court’s draft opinion and its potential impact on abortion access.
Jost started:
Well guys, tomorrow is Mother’s Day. Whether you wanted to be one or not. In an unprecedented move that could cause lasting damage to the Supreme Court, a draft advisory was leaked indicating they intend to overthrow Roe v. Wade. So the court is usually careful, but they only made a mistake once and now they have to live with it forever. Sounds really unfair.
The opinion was written by Judge Samuel Alito, and he bases his arguments on 17th-century laws. So it’s an outdated opinion of an angry 70-year-old? This shouldn’t be a Supreme Court decision; it should just be a Facebook post. The opinion also seems to be written in a weird conservative bubble. Here’s how you know: He quotes his own colleague Brett Kavanaugh six times. One for each beer in the pack. He even quotes Kavanaugh on civil rights, which is like quoting Amber Heard on how to make a bed. Chief Justice John Roberts said the leak was “the work of one bad apple”. One bad apple is also another legal argument used according to Alito [his screen shows a picture of Eve in the Garden of Eden]†
Che continued:
As a man there is no way I can understand the full impact of this problem. But I asked a bunch of women in the office about their personal experience with abortion, and I must admit I learned a lot from the HR meeting they forced me to attend.
But I do know that this statement will have a disproportionate effect on poor people. I mean, most Americans don’t have access to the same resources I do. The average person can’t just text Lorne in the middle of the night and say, “Yo, it happened again.” I just don’t get why Republicans are so against this. Maybe don’t think of it as an abortion. Think of it as a patriot storming a womb to destroy the results of an unfair pregnancy.
Weekend Update Bureau Segment of the Week
McKinnon, who for many years was the resident “SNL” impersonator of liberal judge Ruth Bader Ginsburg, appeared at the Update desk this week to play her conservative successor, Judge Amy Coney Barrett.
McKinnon played Barrett in a strip back and forth with Jost, trying to suppress the perception that she was happy to overthrow Roe v. Wade. “I don’t know why you would think that, aside from everything I’ve ever said,” she explained.
McKinnon also highlighted the so-called safe-haven laws that allow parents to give up custody of a baby.
“Give it to a stork and the stork gives it to a lesbian,” she said. “I would think lesbians would be happy because there are now more babies they can adopt. Until we ban that too.”