“Wow, first Finland, now Sweden. It seems like every day we learn about a different country that we could have sworn was already a member of NATO.” —SETH MEYERS
“Finland and Sweden are taking it very seriously to make this official. They’ve both already left a toothbrush in the NATO bathroom.’ —STEPHEN COLBERT
“One of Russia’s main goals in invading Ukraine was to weaken NATO. Instead, the alliance is now “on the brink of beginning its largest potential expansion in nearly two decades.” How ironic. It’s — it’s like that O. Henry story where the husband buys his wife combs for her hair, and she joins NATO.” —STEPHEN COLBERT
“You can feel the electricity in the air because it’s Primary Day all over America. Five states elect their party candidates for state and federal office: Pennsylvania, Oregon, Idaho, North Carolina and Kentucky. Or as election experts collectively know them, ‘POINCK.’” —STEPHEN COLBERT
“Ah, yes, the excitement of the state primaries. Put on the coffee, honey, it’s going to be a night out.’ —JAMES CORDEN
“Idaho, Kentucky, North Carolina, Oregon and Pennsylvania all held primaries today, which is, of course, news to the vast majority of people in Idaho, Kentucky, North Carolina, Oregon and Pennsylvania.” —JAMES CORDEN
“One of the most watched races is in Pennsylvania, where Dr. Oz tries to win the Republican Senate nomination. My apologies to Dr. Oz, but I can’t cross party lines – I’m a Dr. Phil man.’ —JAMES CORDEN
“For there is nothing more impressive than being called smart by a man who was staring straight at an eclipse.” —STEPHEN COLBERT, referring to Dr. Oz’s endorsement of Donald Trump.
Jimmy Fallon and “Tonight Show” guest Nick Jonas performed automatically tuned songs based on topics like “a Craigslist ad for a roommate.”