Steinfeld had no intention of sharing her own experience in the film. The project started as a way for her to connect survivors to enable them not to suffer in silence alone, as she had done.
Arriving in the US, Steinfeld says she was severely traumatized and unable to talk about her experience, instead trying to start a new life. But it wasn’t as easy as just getting away from the crime scene.
This is how the idea for Steinfeld’s project was born. But when she interviewed the people in the film — including a woman who was raped by her husband, a nurse who had to use a rape kit on herself, a man who says he was raped at a party when he was 13 — and confronted with some of the perpetrators about whether they now regretted or even admitted that what they had done had been a crime, she realized that in order to be fully healed, she too had to speak up in order to move forward.
From her experience, Steinfeld shared four lessons she learned about what to do after a seizure — whether it happened to you or someone you know.
It’s not your fault
“No matter how it happened, regardless of your gender, gender, age, creed, regardless of your state of consciousness, whatever your actions or lack of actions were, IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT,” she says.
“You are now obsessed with the question: what could have been different? The truth is not much. Perpetrators prey on you by gaining your trust and forcing you into a room where they can commit the crime. You could not have known their “Intentions. The sooner you come to understand that it was not your fault, the better you will heal.”
Find a person you trust
“Find a person you trust — someone you know who won’t judge you or force you to do something you wouldn’t want to do — if possible BEFORE you seek medical attention and report the crime to authorities,” Steinfeld says. .
She adds that experiences with law enforcement and medical personnel can also be traumatic, so it’s helpful to have trusted support when reporting the crime.
“Make sure you confide in someone who will be by your side no matter what. That may mean telling your family what happened and seeking their love and support. They may feel helpless , but you need them now more than I can express in words. If you don’t have someone like that, find us, victims’ lawyers, we’ll be there for you. I know it’s a slogan, but it’s so true — find us online! YOU ARE NOT ALONE.”
Be patient with yourself
“You could feel self-destructive: you could hate yourself for a long time, you could harm yourself, abuse alcohol or substances to make you feel even more miserable. Be patient with your state of shock and your healing,” she says. .
“The journey from victim to conqueror can be a very long road. Victory is when you are whole again, when you can trust your judgment again, victory is when what happened has no power over you anymore. The quick way to freedom is patience and kindness to yourself.”
She explains that by doing this you will eventually be able to talk about what happened and says she learned that “speaking was healing for all the heroes who emerged after surviving sexual trauma.”
Ask loved ones to be supportive
When abuse survivors share what happened to them, it can be difficult for loved ones to know how to respond, Steinfeld says. But their response “may be crucial” in helping people feel empowered to seek support.
“We live in a culture that doesn’t understand survivors of sexual assault. There is no right or wrong way to respond to trauma,” she says. For support.
Story of the week
Several years ago, a group of women became pioneers in commercial fishing, believing that their lives had taken a more prosperous path. But climate change along the Zambezi River threatens to put an end to their dreams.
Women Behaving Badly: Junko Tabei (1939 – 2016)
Written by Adie Vanessa Offiong
Although she was the first woman to reach the top of Mount Everest, Junko Tabei preferred to be known as the 36th person to achieve this feat.
She discovered her passion for climbing at the age of 10 during a class trip to Mount Nasu and Mount Chausu. At that time, only men climbed mountains in Japan. After graduating from Showa Women’s University, Tabei followed her passion for climbing and joined several men’s climbing clubs.
To encourage more women to pursue their passion for climbing, she founded Joshi-Tohan (Ladies Climbing Club of Japan) in 1969 and the following year, Tabei and club member Hiroko Hirakawa made history on an expedition to Annapurna III in Nepal, a of the most challenging climbs in the world, becoming the first women to climb the summit.
Tabei then set her sights on Everest. In 1975, she began the ascent along with 14 other women under the auspices of Japan’s Women’s Everest Expedition. Due to a lack of oxygen cylinders, Tabei was the only member of the climbing team who could climb the final summit, making her the first woman to reach the top of the world’s highest peak.
She went on to climb the tallest mountains on each continent known as the Seven Summits Challenge, again being the first woman to do so.
Born in Fukushima as Junko Ishibashi, Tabei was a teacher, author and survivor of World War II. She married Masanobu Tabei, a fellow mountaineer, in 1959.
Her life was one of courage and determination, not only making a name for herself in a male-dominated field, but also challenging cultural stereotypes about women. She died of cancer in 2016.