Oscar-winning actress Charlize Theron has had her share in romantic relationships.
One of the most famous were her relationships with the third eye -blind frontman Stephan Jenkins and actor Sean Penn. But nowadays the mother of two chooses to be single, she recently told Alex Cooper on Podcast “Call Her Daddy”.
For her, the building of her family was about “being honest with who I am and what I can give now,” she said, adding that she realized that she was “not someone who should have children with another person.”
This is why Theron chose to become a single mother and why relationship experts support her decision.
'I used to be someone in relationships who would lose themselves'
There were two main motivations for Theron.
Firstly, Theron's parents had a tumultuous relationship. “There was a lot of alcoholism in my family,” she said, “on both sides.” And she grew up and saw the consequences of that painful dynamic and wanted to prevent them from repeating what she saw at home.
Secondly, it was a recognition of how she functioned in a romantic relationship. “I used to be someone in relationships who would lose themselves,” she said. She often attracted narcissists, which meant “walking on eggshells, trying to protect ego,” she said. And she avoided conflicts and preferred to calm them with them than to fight.
In the end it was about “being honest with myself and understanding that I didn't have the ability to be healthy in a relationship,” she said.
'I hear a woman who chooses alignment'
Sara Nasserzadeh, sexuality and relationship expert and author of “Love by Design: 6 ingredients to build a lifetime of love”, praises Theron's decision.
“I hear a woman who chooses alignment,” she says. “She does not turn away from love, she chooses not to recreate cycles that would jeopardize her ability to live and to love truthfully.”
She also sees the choice of Theron as one made by a consciousness of her environment.
Historically, for example, women have been familiar with men for financial stability. “For many, a partnership was a necessity more than a preference,” says Nasserzadeh. “Charlize has the clarity, support and means to choose otherwise, and that is powerful.”
Psychotherapist and author of “13 things mentally strong women don't do” Amy Morin has seen many women make a similar choice.
“Some were mothers who did not want to expose their children to their dating life,” she says, adding to it, “others had done a lot of work to themselves, but did not want to practice their new relationship skills while the children were around.”
Others still just felt that their lives were full. They didn't need the romantic relationship.
“Some have experienced a return because others wonder if they are really happy or jokes that something should be wrong with them,” says Morin. “But choosing to stay single can certainly be a sign in force, not weakened.”
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